Written by: John R. Smith, Rob Sprackling, Kelly Asbury, Mark Burton, Andy Riley, Kevin Cecil, Emily Cook, Kathy Greenberg, Steve Hamilton Shaw.
Starring: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Kane, Jason Stratham, Maggie Smith, Patrick Stewart and a bunch of other Brits.
Music by: Elton John, Chris P. Bacon and James Newton Howard.
Year of release: 2011.
Budget: $36 Million.
Gross Revenue: $189, 712, 432.
My girlfriend chose this movie when we were in the video-store looking for something to watch. I have a sneaking suspicion that she chose it because she’s halfway through the fifth season of Six Feet Under and just needs a break from all the fucking sadness that seems to permeate every second of that show. Regardless, I didn’t complain too much because the idea of Romeo and Juliet as a computer animated kid’s film intrigued me. I wondered whether or not the titular gnomes would meet the fateful end that garnered the original play its tragedy tagline (the gnomes don’t kill themselves by the way, something which annoyed me a little bit before I realised that suicide is probably a little bit too hectic for kids aged 4-10 to have to confront.)
The music of Elton John worked pretty well for the most part, however I did think that they could have used more of his songs here. I think you get three or four of them, and it’s nice to see how the film-makers fit them into the story, but I was hanging out for Goodbye Yellow Brick Road or Love Lies Bleeding, and instead got the typically clichéd Your Song. Also, Elton John doesn’t actually sing many of the songs; they are covers by artists who by definition (i.e.- not being Elton John) are inferior.
Apart from that, the story is pretty good and the movie actually works as a kind of introduction to the themes of Romeo and Juliet for kids. The best part about the movie however is definitely the gnomes. They are all very cute and they get up to all kinds of gnome mischief, which is what you want to see in a movie like this. Particular favourites include the red gnomes which all run around and say funny things. Also the flamingo was pretty cool.
The movie isn’t all skittles and sunshine though, and if I had of been at the premiere sitting in close proximity to the film’s director, during the credits I would have huffed “Well it was no fucking Pixar Film, that’s for sure!” before I tossed the remainder of my popcorn to the floor and spat on the seat. No, come on, I wouldn’t do that. If I was actually invited to the premiere of a movie, I’d be well chuffed to meet everyone and generally just pleased to get out of the house.
The Good: The constant references to different Shakespeare plays in the same way that various elements of pop. culture are referenced in the Shrek movies. Sure, some of the Shakespeare references are a bit cheap (in the Gnomeo and Juliet universe there is a removalist company called Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Removals), but at least it’s sort of trying. Also Ashley Jenson’s turn as Nanette the frog is really refreshing because she actually tries to be something other than the character she was famous for in Extras. Something which can’t be said for Stephen Merchant, who plays the same character in every fucking thing he’s in.
The Bad: At the beginning of the movie, a gnome comes out and says something along the lines of: “Before we begin the movie, I must read out a long and boring prologue to establish the scene...” He then sets about reading the opening lines from Romeo and Juliet before being booed off stage. It sort of screamed ignorance to me and reminded me of one of those douche bags that everyone knows that says something like: “Shakespeare was ruined for me in school...” whenever the topic turns to Shakespeare, as if anyone gives a shit what you think, you narcissistic cunt.
The Ugly: The gnomes all breathe as though they are just regular humans. There are several scenes where some of them exert themselves and then have to catch their breath, and everything seems to work as though they have organic lungs. Yet whenever they eat, the food clunks as it goes down as if it were rubbing against porcelain. That shit sent a shiver down my spine.
Three stars:
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