Studio: Twisted Pictures.
Year of release: 2010.
Run time: 91 Minutes.
Budget: $17-20 Million.
Gross Revenue: $133, 310, 178.
I don’t have much patience for the Saw franchise. It sucks, basically. But as long as the retarded masses keeping forking out their hard earned for movie tickets, I guess they’ll just keep pumping them out like the Catholic woman in the beginning of Monty Python’s: The Meaning of Life. Oh and don’t let the subtitle of this flick trick you; a sequel will happen. A Google search of Saw 8 reveals the following results.
So seeing as I am diametrically opposed to torture porn in all its varieties (with the exception of the first Hostel movie, and possibly The Human Centipede—I remain undecided on that one), what made me waste 91 minutes on this turd? I guess I watched it because of the poster art. I mean, just look at it: You’ve got a fucking huge statue made of the franchise’s iconic villain, Jigsaw, complete with various search lights and helicopters surrounding it. Even though I knew that the poster was purely symbolic, there was part of me that suspected that the people behind the Saw movies might just be retarded enough for it to be literal. After all, one recurring motif of the Saw movies, and indeed horror movies in general, is that they all have to outdo each other by featuring more violence, and increasingly elaborate death scenes. When I saw the poster for this movie, for some reason I just pictured a giant Tobin Bell running loose amongst a city, stomping people to death. Well Lionsgate Studios marketing department; you can rest assured that your poster ensnared at least one viewer.
Alas, there is no giant Tobin Bell stomping people; there isn’t even an army of Jigsaw compatriots running around causing mischief. Saw: The Final Chapter was largely a disappointment. The movie is really underwhelming in light of all the ‘final chapter’ hype. All we get is some bogus plot about a guy who pretends to be a survivor of Jigsaw so he can sell books and make some cash. Of course, Jigsaw can’t allow this to happen, and so a kind of meta-Jigsaw trap is set, whereby the protagonist needs to undertake a real test because he has been making so much money by faking it. The standard hammy acting and gore results.
There is fun to be had in some of the gruesome death scenes, but you can tell that they are meant to be enjoyed in 3D. Since I’m poor, I can’t afford a 3D television and had to make do with my Sony HD TV (man, technology ages quickly these days), so I didn’t get to appreciate the deaths as much. But it’s all there: Drills going into eyes, jaws being exploded inside out, and hooks being dragged out of oesophagi. You add the rusty, mechanical apparatuses and it’s almost like the first scene from Michel Foucault’s Discipline and Punish.
The fans will probably like it, but if I were a Saw a fan I’d be disappointed that the supposed final chapter went out with such a fizzle. I was expecting an army of Jigsaw devotees swinging bommy-knockers facing off against an army of incompetent detectives in an all out brawl, but sadly all I got were the typical tricks of the Saw trade. Oh well, I’m sure after a stretch of about six months, the series will be rebooted and they can try and do it right next time.
One and a half stars:
Hey A, I'm not entirely sure how to reply properly. But thanks for letting me know that someone's reading my stuff. Unfortunately, I haven't got any pictures of cats in hats to offer.
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